Working on jealousy involves creating a shared language that allows you to support yourself and each other. This means understanding your own jealousy and exploring the emotions behind it, as well as gaining insight into your partner’s. Together, you’ll need to develop and experiment with strategies to address and prevent jealousy when it arises. Additionally, embracing the opposite of jealousy—compersion—can help you to prevent jealousy.
We have three exercises to try together with your partner(s) - this is the second one:
Build a Supportive Framework
Before starting this exercise, complete Partner Exercise 1: What Emotions Are Part of My Jealousy? This will help you identify the emotions tied to jealousy for both you and your partner. With that understanding, you can create a supportive framework that works for both of you.
It’s important to distinguish between supporting your partner through their emotions and rescuing them from those emotions. Rescuing - removing the trigger for their jealousy - may provide temporary relief but deprives them of the opportunity to face and work through their feelings, which is essential for building emotional resilience. Support involves allowing your partner to sit with their discomfort while offering tools and reassurance that help them navigate it.
This exercise will guide you in creating a framework that allows both of you to engage in potentially triggering activities while having a plan to address jealousy constructively. The goal is growth, not avoidance.
Step 1: Identify Key Emotions
Using your list from Partner Exercise 1, identify the three most prominent emotions tied to your jealousy. For example, these could be feelings like insecurity, fear of abandonment, or territoriality.
Step 2: Reflect on Support Strategies
Individually, reflect on ways both you and your partner can support you in managing these emotions. Think about actions and strategies for three distinct stages:
