Emergency Coping Plan A, B and C
Jealousy First Aid Kit - Individual Exercise VII
Jealousy can feel overwhelming and all-consuming, but it exists for a reason. In the video Dealing with Jealousy, you explored how to anticipate and prevent jealousy or address it before emotions take over. However, there will be times when jealousy feels too powerful to control. During those moments, it’s essential to have a plan.
Jealous feelings are a natural part of being human; it’s the jealous actions that often cause challenges. When jealousy strikes, it can create a sense of lost control, leading to trying to regain that. Keep in mind that jealousy often points to underlying needs that aren’t being met. Once you can regain your logical perspective, reflect on what your jealousy reveals about those unmet needs. (For a deeper dive into this process, refer back to exercises from Understanding Jealousy.) Remember, understanding and managing jealousy is a long process.
For those who frequently experience jealousy, eliminating it entirely might not be realistic. Instead, focus on understanding its roots and reducing its intensity. These exercises will help you build strategies to manage jealousy more effectively, leading to more sustainable actions and acceptance of the emotion. Learning to coexist with and learn from jealousy-not erasing it-is key.
These exercises build on earlier work, such as What Emotions Are Part of My Jealousy?, and align with the ideas from Building a Supportive Framework.
Emergency coping plan - Plan A, B and C
When you’re not feeling jealous, create a plan for when jealousy occurs. This plan can include many different strategies, such as engaging in physical activity, doing something you love, reaching out to someone you care about, journaling about your jealousy, or practicing breathing exercises. Identify what helps you calm down and feel centered.
Step 1: Make the plans beforehand
Have your plans ready. You need to have them planned and preferably in detail, so you do not have to consider anything when you are caught up in jealousy. There are no questions to be asked; you know exactly what to do. The more detailed your plans are, the easier it will become to start doing them.
Plan A: This is your go-to strategy that you know will effectively bring you down from jealousy. Though this plan may be challenging to implement when you’re in the heat of the moment.
Plan B: This strategy is easier to do and may not be as effective as Plan A, but it helps you process your feelings physically, aiding in a return to logic.
Plan C: This plan should require minimal effort to execute and might not be as effective as either Plan A or B, serving as a quick way to start the self-soothing.
Example of Plans:
Physical Focus:
A: Engage in a heavy workout.
B: Take a fast walk.
C: Practice breathing techniques (e.g., inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, and hold for four seconds). Additional calming techniques include tensing and relaxing muscle groups, starting from the feet and moving up through the body to your face.
Connection Focus:
